A Father’s Day gift… from our Father.
Today we’re celebrating Father’s Day here in the U.S. Happy Father’s Day to all the Fathers out there. I’ve had the honor of being a dad now for 15 years. My Hannah Bear just turned 15 years old last week, and I’m not going to lie, I’ve watched fatherhood make a significant improvement in the last decade and a half.
If you are old enough to remember it, try to think back on fathers 15/20 years ago. I can’t say that a TON has improved in the world during the same stretch of time, but dare I say that fatherhood has?
Many people don’t know that I’ve spent a significant about of time in the last 16 years studying and consulting on social media usage. Matter of fact, I started a social media consulting company in 2008… literally, before anyone had done it or even recognized that it was going to be such a significant influence on our lives. I may have been “ahead of my time” but the recession of 2008 was REAL My little business sputtered and failed because the last thing people were spending money on was training… much less on a completely new concept called “social media”.
Twitter had been born in 2006 and we used it for every bar, nightclub and restaurant that I ran. What I realized was that more than any business communication or practical use, we could actually use social media to spread some really good news and examples for people. If you’ve ever followed me on social, you know that I talk about 3 major things…. My God, My Kid and my current interest. That could be a business or hobby OR, recently, that’s has included a lot around my health journey/struggle.
It wasn’t popular to share stuff about fatherhood when social media started back in the day. It just wasn’t. It was more popular to show pics of what you were eating than it was to show you being a dad. Seriously. It sounds weird because it has come SO far since then. I truly believe that because it’s been so widely accepted to show off being a good dad, that it’s actually HELPED dads be better dads!
I’ve searched high and low and I haven’t found a ton of research done on the impact of social media on fatherhood. What I HAVE found is gobs of research on the impact of father’s involvements in their kids lives. Matter of fact, you can tell that something shifted in the last 20 years because in the 2006 census they started including questions about fathers and their proximity to their children. The research overwhelmingly shows that a fathers involvement in their kid’s lives reaps a plethora of benefits.
Today we know that children with an involved father have a better chance at a successful and happy life. If you wanna see the research, it’s fascinating and here’s the link for some.
Here’s what I felt extremely compelled to communicate with you today.
Whether you have a father who is active in your life or not, you have a Fatherhood Legacy that’s already been laid for you.
Way before social media… way before any studies about fatherhood involvement… way before researchers could draw a straight line from the fatherhood activity in a child’s life, directly correlating to the success and happiness of their children…. God made an example of himself.
The most “popular” scripture of all time is John 3:16 and it says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
I know the Holy Trinity might be a bit confusing to some, but I want to explain it a little bit and also attempt to reveal a bit of the love and legacy that God created as a model for us.
Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 3 in one. The Trinity.
In the Christian faith, we refer to God, first, as a Father. The Old Testament focuses on the portrayal of God the Father. There are some very generous moments, there are some very trying moments, there are some moment that can feel confusing as a demonstration of love. The first part of the Bible largely illustrates a people struggling to get back into the grace of God. The Old Testament also focuses so much on “the law” that it can often be misconstrued as God being a Father that doesn’t want His kids to have any fun.
If you are a Father, can you relate? Have you ever set rules for your kids outta love? To protect them? To keep them safe? Have you ever seen your kids rebel against it? If you have a kid that’s 12 plus, there’s NO way you haven’t experienced this. Lol. Matter of fact… if you have a kid that’s 3 or older, I know you have. They don’t CARE that they are gonna get a tummy ache, they only want to eat 14 popsicles. Period. It doesn’t matter that you know better and want to keep from cleaning up regurgitated popsicle juice all over the back seat of the minivan.
That’s the Old Testament. That’s a glimpse of The Father. If you remember nothing else, know that God loves you so much that He sets limitations to keep YOU safe and away from puking popsicles all over the place. Lol.
Then, we have The Son. The prophecy of the Son coming, was foretold throughout the Old Testament but He arrives in the New Testament. His name was Jesus. John 1:1 says that in the beginning, was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. 2: He was with God in the beginning.
In other words, when God turned darkness into light, and he formed the earth and the moon and the stars and creation… Jesus was there. He was God and He was with God simultaneously.
But now… as we heard back in John 3:16, God took on a human form and came to earth to walk with us. That desire to be reconnected with our Father was about to be made possible again.
Quick side note: I keep saying “connected to the Father again” because In The Beginning, when God created man and woman and animals and every living creature, we were perfectly connected to God. There was no shame, no pain, no hurt, no disappointment… we just walked freely and nakedly with our Father. We were separated from Him through the disobedience of Adam and Eve in the garden. They were told not to eat of a certain tree and they figured that they knew better than God and they would succumb to the temptation of the devil in the form of a snake. They immediately felt shame… and separation…. And fear… and pain…
This was the separation and in accordance with the law that was established in the Old Testament, the only way back to God was through sacrifice and offerings. So what did the Father do? To show His love for His human children?
He sent His Son. A perfect human. The only one to ever walk the earth and to be free from sin. And He sent Him, knowing exactly what we’d do to Him. He knew that we would see the wonders and the miracles and still not fully get it OR accept Him. He knew that we’d question Him and ridicule Him and eventually.. we’d kill Him. We’d beat His son beyond recognition. We’d nail Him to a cross. We’d bleed Him out in the company of murderers and thieves. We would ultimately sacrifice… the perfect Son of God.
The Father knew that this was the only way to make a way for His earthly children to have a way back to Him.
Listen. I won’t let you take a picture of Hannah if I don’t know you. You understand me? Clearly I am not Godliness because I could never imagine sacrificing my child. Matter of fact, there’s another story in the Bible where a man, Abraham, was called to sacrifice his son (Isaac) after a hundred years of trying to have a kid… and God tested his faith with the instruction to sacrifice his child. God would ultimately rewards his obedience with another sacrifice to offer… but… I have a hard time knowing if my Own faith is strong enough to even CONTEMPLATE giving my child up for any reason.
But God…
But your Father….
Sent His son. To earth. To live a perfect life. To give the perfect example. To make the ultimate sacrifice.
For you.
So that if YOU believe… YOU can live forever.
So that YOU have a way to talk directly to Him. Any time and in any moment. So that you are not alone. So that nothing can defeat you. So that nothing can consume you.
That’s a Fatherhood Legacy. That’s the perfect example of pure love and sacrifice for the good of anyone who will believe. For anyone who will follow and heed the example of love and empathy that has been modeled before us.
The law was made human and made vulnerable and real for us to see and touch and experience up close. A sacrifice was made… a Father’s heart was broken… for you.
The story couldn’t have been made perfect without the sacrifice. The suffering and the heartbreak turned to joy because in just 3 days, Jesus got up, rolled away the stone, and walked out of the the grave. Human death HAD to be defeated for us to be able to KNOW that He was really the Son of God.
When Jesus dipped back to Heaven, as promised in John 16:7 (“But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.”) He sent the Holy Spirit to take His place here in earth with us. Notice that He calls the spirit an Advocate… he’s a fighter FOR us. For YOU. And for ME. He’s a spirit that watches over us in our darkest moments and in our finest hours. I could babble about the Holy Spirit but my favorite thing to remember is that, even if I don’t have the words to speak my prayers to God, the Spirit of God relays my needs to Heaven and they are answered.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
Romans 8:26 NIV
I could easily just have said that the legacy that God gave us on earth was the sacrifice of His Son and the gift of the Holy Spirit to comfort us moving forward. Even though I explained it in brevity, I hope that we can take some things away as lessons for how to leave our own children with a healthy and loving legacy.
Fathers, continue to sacrifice for your kids. They will see it and they will appreciate it. Whether it’s sacrificing your time or energy or even making the sacrifice of comfort to connect to your children with love and empathy… do it.
Continue to give them the ways to navigate the world and continue to vet it with the truth and to deliver it with love.
Take the example that we’ve talked about today. Set the rules. Be close to them in mind and spirit. Be gentle. Be loving. Be the example that you’d have them show up as in the world.
We’ve got the blueprint. We just have to use it.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
This can be your legacy for your family. You have to go first. You just have to believe and accept that you Father in heaven, sent and sacrificed His Son for you to have eternal life. Spoiler alert… I’m pretty sure you’ll never be asked to make a sacrifice as big as His and I’m also sure that, even if/when the road gets hard, you’ll be able to call on the Legacy of God in the Holy Spirit.
All of us who believe and spread this good news get to become the legacy of our Heavenly father.
To give:
Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes
Cashapp: $joeldavidbarnes
Zelle: j.d.barnes7@gmail.com
To follow:
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Twitter: @wehavetoshare
Twitter: @joeldavidbarnes
IG: @wehavetoshare
IG: @joeldavidbarnes
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A Father’s Day gift… from our Father.