What’s the best compliment that anyone could give you?

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What’s the best compliment that anyone could give you?

Think about your answer as you read this...

Joel Barnes SHAREing

Jun 08, 2025

Transcript

That was the question of the day today from my physical therapist, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Of course I have to set the story up a bit better than that, but I promise, I’ll answer it, too.

Rough starts to my day are kinda normal, at this point. I was dealing with the usual pain stuff but there was an extra layer of dread in the mix today, as I walked over to PT. I’m scared that my right knee (my "healthy" knee), that has been doing most of the heavy lifting (literally) for the last 5 years, is starting to have problems and pain. I mention this at the start of the story because I think the most powerful thing that God has been doing in my life in the last few years is allowing me to stay receptive to whatever messages He has for me in a day… regardless of my pain. Pain consumes capacity. So for me to still be receptive to His messaging WHILE in pain… it means that He is divinely expanding my capacity to contemplate the “more” that He has for me.

I could stop right here. In gratitude. Because I know the days of overwhelming pain and circumstance all too well. I’m not always perfect at receiving it though. lol. I got off to a rough start with the PT today … even as I stood in the midst of Gods grace for me, my PT started to piss me off the second I got there.

He’s a floater Physical Therapist. Meaning, he doesn’t have a home office but he floats to cover wherever they need him. Today, someone in my normal PT office was out, and I got to work with him again. I think he’s a great dude btw. He’s always caring and always engaging. Matter of fact, he’s lowkey famous for his head-scratcher questions. He always asks SOMETHING of the whole office that makes you think outside of the box. “What’s the one movie you’d leave in a time capsule for them to find in 100 years?” “If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?” “What’s the largest animal you think you could beat in a fight?” He always asks questions like this and it gets the whole office talkin… every time. I love it.

But today when I limped in, he started with a couple case specific things for me. The one that irked me was when he asked me if I have experienced any difference in my pain level since the partial replacement. I said, “prior to surgery, I felt severe nerve pain. Now, I experience deep bone pain. So the pain is different… but still very prevalent.” His response wasn’t malicious. At all. But the nerd in him started pontificating about the fact that bones don’t have nerve endings… so technically you cannot have bone pain. I’m not gonna lie… I probably have some PTSD stuff going on here because of the fact that I’ve had so many people tell me that I wasn’t actually feeling something… and then they get an MRI back and then they realize… “oh. That. Yeah. That’s what you were talking about this whole time.” It’s actually traumatizing to be perfectly describing exactly what you are feeling…and everyone is telling you that it’s not real. I mean… for 2.5 years they told me that it was impossible to have as much pain as I was having in my knee. Then, one day, a plastic surgeon opened me up and let us all know that there were nerve endings trapped inside my knee capsule. She said, “You must be experiencing blinding pain when you put weight through this knee…” All of a sudden, everyone believed me. After dozens of appointments… and procedures… and surgeries.

So yeah… pain + PTSD is how I started my day.

I knew that he wasn’t being malicious. I knew that he was probably factually correct. And I also knew that he had no idea, yet, that my diagnosis of Bone Marrow Edema meant that my bone was literally swelling from the inside OUT… putting pressure on the implant in my knee and causing pretty severe pain. Bone pain. Even though, bone pain isn’t really a thing.

I shelved that initial reaction. I kinda let it fall away from my heart… like a weight I just didn’t need to hold onto. It wouldn’t do anything to serve me, and if I’m being honest, the more I’ve focused on bitterness, the more I’ve probably missed. I don’t know about you, but when I focus on the problems of the day, it makes me less receptive to catching the good parts of the day. It’s definitely not easy to stay positive though… and I definitely don’t always succeed at it. I get overwhelmed by the details of the day more often than I’d care to admit. But I am a work in progress. And I’m doing my best to live in the grace of God.

Then… the question.

What’s the best compliment that anyone could give you?

Without a pause, I said, “Oh that’s easy! Matter of fact, I’ve been kinda hearing it a lot lately. One person told me that when I talked to her it was like there was no one else in the room. That she felt seen and important in that moment. Someone else told me that they had experienced deep community in relationship with me. Someone else said… ‘my faith and prayer life has grown since meeting you’ … so yeah. The biggest compliment anyone could give me is that their relationship with God got better and I was there for it. Best compliment in life is that someone got closer to God because of something they experienced through me. Easy.”

Names and faces were popping into my head. Instantly. And I knew that the goal of the question, from a sociology or even psychological perspective is kinda meant to answer some much deeper questions. I know that it reveals the desires of your heart, but I hadn’t even had a chance to process all of that yet. This floodgate of feelings just gushed out of me. I think I was still answering as he had moved on to the next thing he had to do with his adjacent patient.

That was weird, God. What are You up to?

Then, while my mind, body and soul were wrapped up in the next series of exercises, he had ANOTHER wildly introspective question. His next questions was, “What makes you do the right thing?” This one created a little more pause in my soul… my initial thoughts were close, but not quite IT. First thing I thought, “the way my mom raised me”. Then, “oh, the Bible dictates a lot of this” then, “everything I’ve learned in church, etc.” But none of those were the exact right answer, until I it hit me. My Faith. It wasn’t the obvious first answer because I really HAVE been taught well by my mom. And the scriptures DO teach me a lot of the right moves to make. And I’d be remiss to discount all of the teachings that I have been on the receiving end of. But you know what? None of that means anything if you don’t believe it… none of it can come OUT of you until you internalize it and make it part of YOU. Faith allows God to let the beautifully beneficial lessons of life, land on your heart and transform you into a better and more “right thing” seeking version of yourself. It allows you to submit to His way… which is way better than your way. Faith gives you the confidence that you don’t deserve, to live the life that Only God could script for you.

Kinda like a painful day turning into an affirming day. Kinda like God bringing up all the things that you are wondering about and confirming to you that you are on the right track. Kinda like Him gently reminding you that He’s been in the story the whole time… even when your ptsd tries to steal your joy and revelation.

But why write about it? What’s SO big about this story that takes it from being a guy having a bad day to a guy that answered a few good questions?

Glad you asked. 😜

For awhile, now, I’ve been trying to imagine what it is that God wants me to do for work when I fully come out of this season. I’m still holding fast to the fact that I will have the necessary procedures to allow me to move past this position of pain or that God, himself, will place His hand on my body and He will heal me instantly. One of those things is going to happen. And it’s probably not going to happen how I could fathom it happening. But, for years now, while He was doing what only He can do, I’ve been doing what only I could do. My hands are off the wheel, but my foot is still on the gas. And… that’s a pretty cool visual, and all… but if I’m being honest honest… He’s in full control of everything and there have been days when I’m sucking my thumb crying in the backseat and I wake up from passing out and we’re in a whole new country with God. lol. That’s probably more accurate.

Today’s series of introspective questions and answers… comes less than 6 or 7 hours after I think God might have delivered my next mission title. Faith Coach.

Now imagine my morning through that lens… I barely slept because my mind had been racing. I had spent a few hours with some friends who love me and were kind of brainstorming with me around where they saw that God might be leading me. We kicked around a lot of ideas that make sense. Podcasting. Interviewing. Holding space for people to share. Obviously ministry. Clearly serving people. But here’s my problem… yes to all of it. And also … I’d do all this for free for the rest of my friggin life if I could. I mean… this is what I do now. Everyday. Full time. For years. I walk with people. Through the good and the bad. Period. I do life with them. And every time I have a meltdown and beg God to show me what to do next… He points to exactly what I’m doing now! But I’m like… ok… well where is the paycheck God? I need this to tangibly make sense.

So then my friends say “Life Coach”. And I hear God say…. “Close! But dig here”. So I’m meditating on this life coach concept… and I’m shooting holes in it left and right. Eh, I’m not good at this, not qualified for that… not even really sure what the heck a life coach is. I already do LIFE with people but I think it’s their faith that God lets me walk the closest with. Aha… Faith Coach.

I felt this holy qualification fall on me as the words came out of me. I may not know how to create a 5 year plan… might not know how to maximize your investment portfolio… but you know what I CAN do? Hold some holy space for you and spend some time with you in ‘SHAREapy’ and see how God wants to use it to help grow our faith together. I am a Faith Coach. Already. And I’ve been tested in ways that I never could have expected and I have ended up having my faith grow deeper and stronger than ever. What the enemy meant for evil… God has been using it for my good. And now we’re here. In a storyline that only the Holy Spirit could write. Yeah... we’re going to write pieces that are both blog posts and podcast episodes. We’re going to continue to publish Bible studies and resources that give people tools for growing their faith and facilitating connection to others who seek to do the same. We’re going to keep telling the stories of the miracles that God is doing in the world right now. Yeah… all of it.

I think the piece that I’m the most excited about is walking with more people. Intentionally. Empathetically. SHAREing. It feel exciting that with even the very FEW people that I’ve SHAREd this idea with, they do the “ohhhh. I love that” thing. And the “yeah. That makes total sense” thing. It fits in my head. It makes sense and it feels like it’s something that I can develop systems and processes around. Yeah, I’d do it all for free for the rest of my life but God also knows that we have to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. So it will be interesting to see how this all works out. I know it will because look at what God is doing… I didn’t do any of this. I didn’t even have the idea. He did. I didn’t come up with SHAREapy. He did. All I got to do was put it into practice and reap the benefits that I can now share with the world.

And then, I went to my PT appointment, with this Faith Coach idea rattling around in my tired brain, and I got to hear product testimonials come out of my own mouth about how I already have gotten to be a Faith Coach… and God is already at work there. Nothing is by coincidence. And this question just confirmed it. Of course God wants me to keep doing this and to take it to the next level. Of course He wants me to walk in my purpose and flourish in it. Of course He wants to provide for me and my family as I shepherd His kids through this crazy thing called life. Of course this is it. My spirit feels so much joy around the sheer thought of helping people to grow their relationship with God because without Him I wouldn’t have made it. Of course I want to share this gift with as many people as possible but also just the ONE that may have strayed away. Or the one that has questions. Or the one that is suffering and feels alone. Or the one that is on their own mountain top season and wants to help others get there too.

God knows that I need Him to point to the thing He wants me to do with a big neon arrow and I know that He’s doing that with this. I want to keep following His signs and wonders, and walk the path that He is paving for me. I know it’s not conventional, and it’ll probably sound weird to a lot of people. But I know He’s making a way for me. I know He’s got His hand on my life… and I know that wherever I go with Him, life will be lived to the fullest.

Joel Barnes - Faith Coach - at your service.

❤️

p.s. your answer this the question, ‘What’s the best compliment you could receive’ … probably reveals your passion. It might even reveal your purpose…