Just got to Hannah’s last away game… and I’m in tears already.
Probably not why you think, though...
10.7.21 - 4:27pm
Just got to Hannah’s last away game… and I’m in tears already.
Man. I had such a rough day physically. And mentally and emotionally. too much to even get into… So I physically and emotionally limped in here today.
I go in… crutch my way over to the visitor side of the gym at Cristo Rey Jesuit and I take a front row seat. Not even 30 seconds after I sit down… and before Hannah has even had a chance to see me… one of the varsity players “K” comes up to me and says**:
“This might sound totally weird but coming from the perspective of someone without a father figure in her life, the fact that you come support your daughter as much as you do, I think you are an excellent father to Hannah. I mean… I was telling the team earlier… ‘he comes to every game and has to go up 3 flights of stairs every game at HT’. So. I just wanted to tell you that you’re doing a great job. 👍🏾”
Tell me how I didn’t start crying right there and then, while this high school girl… who Hannah looks up to… who plays Hannah’s position… who I feel is probably the closest physical equivalent to Hannah’s build and talent, just a little older… comes and rocks my world like that.
She doesn’t know how hard today was. Or that I couldn’t sleep all week because of pain. Or that just a couple hours ago, I decided that “today would have to be the one I missed a game due to pain,” because I felt so bad. I even had the scoreboard in my head.
Joel- 8
Pain- 1
Still not a bad record…
She didn’t know that this convo happened an hour ago:
She doesn’t know that ‘healthy presence’ is how I measure mySELF on parenting success. She didn’t know my father had abandoned us, forbid us from playing sports and he had only been ‘toxically present’… so she really had no idea of the true and piercing affirmation that she was delivering.
She has no idea how HIGHLY I hold an honest and brave observation delivered with truth, insight and genuine perspective. ❤️🙏🏽
I still haven’t published my article on “Faith with Facts” but in it, I explore how math (Specifically probabilities) lead to a lot of impossible things that occur in our lives. I’m convinced that there are NO coincidences in life…truly... I am.
The fact that I almost didn’t come today…
The potency of her message…
The courage and vulnerability of a sixteen year old young woman to deliver that message to another dude that she’s never officially even MET…
The amount of variables make it impossible. And impossible is where God lives. The unexplainable is where the encouragement that “we are not alone” get it’s validation. We just have to train our hearts to see it and receive it as such.
My baby girl and her team lost. Seeing her have so much fun, connect with her people, encourage her teammates… all that was going to be enough to get through the physical pain of being present.
But God decided to give me an impossible affirmation. And knowing that He see ME in this work… the work of SHAREing. The work of parenting. The work of co-parenting. The work of being a “healthy presence” in my daughter’s life… affirming my purpose. Highlighting this small success… it was ‘right on time’.
When you train yourself to SHARE you are also training yourself to receive.
Grateful to receive from ”K” and my Father, today.
I normally can’t stay much longer than Hannah’s JV games… so as I head out today, both the varsity and the JV teams start going “bye dad! Bye dad! Bye dad!” after Hannah shouted it from the stands.
I think supporting people is not only contagious, it’s exponential. And that it starts with us and OUR people first… then spreads outward from there.
**I had permission to SHARE this story but wanted to keep the player’s name anonymous**
________
Guys, I’m posting this as “free content” on all my socials, but if you enjoy this style of content (or if you have enjoyed it for YEARS lol), if you want to support myself and my family, as I transition to a full time writer and content creator, PLEASE consider supporting and subscribing to this publication! It’s only $7/month. For that you could sacrifice 1 Starbucks coffee, 1 hotdog and pop, 1 bunch of kale, one slice of pizza…. You get my drift, right?! For little to no real sacrifice, you could help support me developing into the writer, teacher, pastor that I know I’m called to be.
You can subscribe to this weekly (at least) publication HERE!
If you already have a sub… did you know that you can actually GIFT one to someone? all you need is their email address and you can GIFT A SUB HERE
________
We have a bunch of different ways to follow
and engage
and support
. One of the best ways (My opinion), is to join our discord. It’s a place where you can be anonymous if you want to, share prayer requests, direct message me, read posts, scriptures, encouragements, suggest topics for the newsletter or livestream, etc..
Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6m
Twitter: @wehavetoshare
Twitter: @joeldavidbarnes
IG: @wehavetoshare
IG: @joeldavidbarnes
FB: /wehavetoshare1
Gofundme: https://gofund.me/24edae29
Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes
Cashapp: $joeldavidbarnes
Zelle: j.d.barnes7@gmail.com