I’m sorry - v.1

I’m sorry

Hey guys. I wanna just immediately apologize to the friend who I conversed with that said “now that you’ve dipped your toes in ministry”. Honestly, I never in a million years even had the thought pass through my mind that the article could hurt them… much less put in question my integrity or motivation for the newsletter/podcast.

Quite simply though, I definitely hurt this person. And I’m truly sorry for it.

Just to be clear, I carried NO malice with me towards this person after we talked originally. That’s where I made a huge mistake because I reconciled internally and with my therapist, but I never circled back and communicated what that innocent comment triggered in me.

To add context to the person, rather than adding context to the comment, this person has always given me feedback about the ministry, observations about points that came up, and we’ve always had a relationship that was challenging. In “a person who challenges you, grows you” kinda way. We haven’t always seen eye to eye and that’s totally fine with me. I don’t need an echo chamber of friends. I don’t WANT an echo chamber of friendships or relationships. Honestly, I didn’t even contemplate that isolating the comment, to this person, would be argumentative or adversarial.

To add context to the comment. It was part of a conversation where they were trying to see “where I’m going next with it”. A genuine curiosity. I mentioned, in the article, that I couldn’t hear anything past this comment but I knew THEY meant no harm by it. It triggered a larger thought that would evolve for weeks into the piece th at I published yesterday.

I haven’t reread the newsletter from the perspective of “could this have hurt them.” I just know it did.

I have no interest in trying to defend myself, while someone else is hurt by my actions. My goal is only to apologize. Even the “context” that I’ve added was for the purpose of UN-misconstruing their words. Even if you don’t know who I’m even talking about.. I do. Even if I don’t owe anyone an apology for the substance that populated the article, I definitely owe this person an apology for not even thinking to offer them a chance to read this piece prior to publication.

It will be a mistake that I do my best to avoid in the future.

I am truly sorry.

• joel