I lost it today… with gratitude 😭
I lost it today. I mean. Lost it. As if I was falling at God’s feet in appreciation and weeping gratitude… lost it.
I had a whiff of it the other day when she asked… but I was literally on my way to the ER when she did. I was so out of it, I had to just follow the next thought in front of me and focus on getting there… then to the next step. But today… when Hannah confirmed that she IS in, fact having a sleepover this weekend with not only ONE friend, but 2… I lost it. Truly.
The fact that this kid is still ok… here it comes again.… the fact that she is ok. Even though I been going through all this shit. The fact that she still wants to bring friends into our home… listen. This kid knows better than anyone what I go through in a day.. and the shit isn’t pretty. She hears my uncontrolled gasps or even yells of pain… she sees how many hours I physically have to be in bed. She knows how simple things around the house can send me into a flare. More often than I’d like to admit, I’ve had to say “baby I can’t do this right now I have to lay down urgently”.
AND SHE STILL WANTS TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER HERE Y’ALL. Do you understand that there is nothing on this earth that makes me happier than that today. I lost it.
Cuz not only is she ok. Not only is she GOOD (thank you Jesus 🙌🏽). Not only does she want to have her friends over to our humble (and actually very dirty right now) home….
She’s not ashamed of me. 🥲
Thank You Lord for protecting my child from this storm. I’d choose her over me any day and even though I maintain faith that YOU will miraculously heal me and take this awful pain away… I’m on my knees in tears weeping with gratitude that You have spared my daughter. Thank You So much Lord. I couldn’t do this if she was suffering too… and You know that. And You have protected my family. I’ll never be thankful enough for that. 😭😭 thank you… from my knees.