I am not a scorekeeper…
It’s important that I remain a person who is not a scorekeeper. I don’t do anything that I do so that I can GET something back. If I feel like I need to pray for someone, I pray for em. If I feel like I am supposed to reach out and let them know that they are in my thoughts. I do that. If I am compelled to give someone something, I’m not waiting for it to ‘come back to me’. I’m not a scorekeeper. I’m not praying for you so that you give me accolades. I will be one hundred percent honest… I am SO not a scorekeeper that I FORGOT that I did it. Not because there haven’t been continued prayers… but because I didn’t do it to remember it.
True story… I was at church the other day and I was in my own lala land of worship and prayer and I walked past a woman I’ve been praying for. Just a couple days prior, I had let her know that I was praying for her and she had let me know that it “had to be the Holy Spirit” because she, indeed, needed prayer. I walked by her and she stopped me and thanked me. I said “for what?”. She goes, “you reached out and told me that you were praying for me” and I was like “oooohhh yeah!! I totally have been.” But I didn’t see her and think “I prayer for that woman of God… I wonder if she’s going to thank me.” I mean, she did, and that was totally nice… but I don’t keep score… I just kinda pray when the Spirit prompts me.
But I’m not a scorekeeper. I don’t need to remember what I’ve done to take the tears of Gods children to their Father for them. I’m not trying to see you at church or in the street and remember that… I prayed for you… so… did you pray for me? I did something nice for you … so… when are you going to do something nice for me? I encouraged you this day… now I’m discouraged… why aren’t you encouraging ME?
I never want to live my life that way. You know why? Because I am SO thankful that God isn’t a scorekeeper over ME. I am SO thankful that God has forgiven me so many times that He lost count… because He never started. That’s why. That’s the reason I’m not a scorekeeper. Keeping score has only broken my own heart. Feeling like someone owes me even a fraction of what I have done for them is a practice that I had to let go years ago. It did not serve me well.
Keeping score will NEVER serve us well. It will ONLY lead to heartbreak because we are humans. And humans will let you down. Only God will never let you down. And He isn’t keeping score on how many times you have screwed up. Sadly, for some of us, He is also not keeping score of all of the “good deeds” you do. At least… not for this life. He’s got you on the other side though…
I am not a scorekeeper, but here is the danger of not being a scorekeeper. You will have people in your life that pick up on the fact that you are not a scorekeeper. There will, inevitably, be someone that knows that you love with reckless abandon. That person may try to take advantage of you. That person may say things to you that are untrue, and because you are not a scorekeeper, those shots may land. Because you don’t have a scorecard of who you have been to them… you might not remember. You might forget.
When I forget who I am and who I have been… there are people in my life that will lovingly hold up a mirror for me. They will remind me of my actions. They will advocate for me. They will shield me from the pain by reminding me of why I love recklessly. They will help me to see the parts of me that I still need to work on and work through and to ultimately HEAL. They will pick me up, dust me off, give me a hug and say “you didn’t deserve that”.
Don’t be a scorekeeper. Get some people in your life that love you enough to remember the score for you. Every once in awhile, you might need em to remind you of who the bleep you are. lol… But love so hard, you forget.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV
It keeps no record. See. Love is not a scorekeeper.